This hasn’t been a good week for my sleep cycle. Post-Thanksgiving saw work rather forcefully punch me in the gut, holiday parties to be planned, a conference demanding my attention 24-hours a day, my surviving grandparent very suddenly in the hospital, and so many friendship/personal conflicts pop up that my head is spinning from the sheer volume. Needless to say, even with the help of more than one cocktail Tuesday night, I haven’t had a solid nights’ sleep since South Carolina.

When I lack sleep, the consequences are immediate and obvious. My mood turns sour no matter who I’m near, any concentration and memory retention (which I have problems anyway) disappear entirely, I feel aggressive and angry at the drop of a hat, and I have no balance in my battle with Bipolar Disorder. Fighting such a disorder on a daily basis requires concentration, energy, and calm. I have none of those things, and so I tend to throw my hands up in defeat and tell the BP “Okay, have fun, run free for a few days, I give up for now.” I continue to do my work (both at my job and outside of it in my volunteer roles) to the best of my ability, I get out of bed in the morning (which is an extreme challenge with those Chemicals running amok), I try to be supportive of friends and family, and I put what little energy I have leftover into my attitude, because if I break down and yell at my boss in frustration and exhaustion, I’m in deep trouble!