I think the grey days of Spring adversely affect my mood in a way that even deep Winter can’t achieve. However, I came across this le Carre quote and felt an immediate connection. Success, like an all-night drive, leaves you lonely whether you can see it for what it is or not. Ambition, insanity, depression, self-preservation – they all put you outside of the warm embrace of your loved ones, your friends, your social circles. And you have to choose between hazy Summers of romantic flings and barbecues, and doing what you feel is right. It doesn’t feel good, having to choose, and on cold days in May it feels like it gets into my bones more than usual.

Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad: whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen; John le Carre

shallwego / tumblr